Why Marriage is the Best

Why Marriage is the Best
Photo Credit - My Grandmother-in-law

Hello everyone.

Blogging has been really good for me and it continues to teach me something about myself. The response has challenged me in a very good way. Not everything I do has to be a huge commercial success. This is a lesson I should be familiar with because nothing that I have done has been a huge commercial success. But my last few posts have seemed to connect really well with people and I got a small number of messages along those lines. I tricked myself into thinking ‘Oh, I am not doing this for the masses, I am doing it for the small few who read, have a laugh and are somewhat inspired.’ This sounds like growth right? Wrong because last week I blogged about money and I got no messages at all. Even my friend who messages me 8 mins after I post every time didn’t message me. I had simply moved my need of validation from the masses to a need of validation of the few.

I am working on it, hence why I am blogging.

With that in mind I want to jump into todays episode, I hope you enjoy it but I am learning not to care if you don't.

Please like it

Or don't

This might take a while.

If there is one thing that I could not recommend highly enough it's marriage. It has been one thing that has changed and improved me as a person more than any other experience. Let me introduce you to young Dan.

Young Dan had big dreams. Voted the most likely to be famous by his high school peers, he did what no one else did in his year group upon finishing school. He moved to Sydney. Depends on where you are from this may or may not be impressive, but where I was from it was a bit of a big deal. In Devonport Tasmania once you finished schooling at 18 years of age...

Oh hang on, I need to get theatre tickets.

Yay, I got them. I wanted to go to the theatre tonight with my wife to see Grease and they offer something called Rush Tickets. They go on sale at 10am each day and you are sometimes assigned pretty good seats. They can sell out in seconds and I have never got them before, but I just got two tickets for £50. Row M seats 11-12. For reference, I can go now and buy some more tickets for Row M seats 1 & 2 (right on the side) for £202.

Where was I before I got distracted by the theatre (sorry for the detour but this will pay off trust me).

Right, Young Dan's peers all choose one of the three normal options upon finishing school. 1: Went to university. There was no university in Devonport so most would move to either Launceston or Hobart (all within Tassie) with a small very moving to Melbourne if studying something special. All of my friends did this with my two closest friends going to a drama school which I also got into. 2: Another option was to study at community college (called TAFE) in Devonport; or 3: Get a job.

I was all set to do to drama school but I got distracted by the theatre (see what I did there). I was performing in a theatre as a part of eisteddfods, which is something youth can compete in, in different arts. The theatre performance is judged by an industry professional. After one of my performances, I was chatting to the adjudicator and was asked what my plan was. I told her about drama school and she said ‘don’t be boring, you have a gift, why don’t you move to Sydney and give it a crack.'

So I did. For the first time in my life an idea just stuck and I knew there and then that I had to do what she said. This has happened a handful of times, the latest being when my wife said ‘let’s just move to London’, but that is another story.

So I moved to Sydney to start my career. Due to a series of strange events I got an agent, a really good one and I landed a job instantly as a body double for a movie. The movie was terrible but I got to go to set, meet the crew and when it was my scene I was covered head to toe in a plaster cast and lay in a hospital bed. This was my climb to the top, but after that first rung of the ladder, the rest of them all fell off.

I was terrible at auditions and I never booked another job since. In fact all of my career options fell apart as I failed time and time again. I thought I needed to study so I went to university and failed, then I went to a private college and failed at that as well. I went through struggles with mental health for the first time, and I put on so much weight in such a short amount of time I got stretch marks.

I look back at that period of my life and I wouldn’t change a thing. Why? It's not because I am the man I am today because of those struggles blah blah blah (I mean it may be true, but there is a lot that happened that I still don’t understand); but it is because in the middle of all of that failure, struggle and pain I did something amazing. I started a relationship with Jasmine and on the 4th of August 2007 we got married.

Oh so now you understand why I got the theatre tickets. It’s our anniversary today.

Since getting married life didn’t become easier, in a lot of ways it created more challenges but the difference is this. I had her to struggle with me. Together we have continued to put ourselves into situations and taken on challenges that we are completely unprepared and unqualified for, and underestimated how hard it would be, and we struggled together. From having children, financially-supporting full-time motherhood, homeschooling, decluttering and moving to London, and our latest challenge which again is a topic for another time. We have come out the other side of these struggles, tired, a bit sore, but with grins on our faces and walking hand in hand. To have someone to do life with you, real life with bumps and all, is the greatest gift I could ever have hoped for.

I love you, Jasmine. Happy Anniversary.